An audiologist told me that she hates "sales".

I told her she was being selfish. I didn't actually use those words, because it wasn't her fault.

I helped her look at the problem through her patient Ed's eyes.

His hearing has been getting gradually worse over the past few years.

At first he was in denial. Over time, it became undeniable.

He was misunderstanding things at work. It became a running joke with his co-workers.

He laughed along, but deep down he was embarrassed.

His wife was getting frustrated. "But I'm only 58", he thought.

"What will people think if I get hearing aids?", he worried.

One day he was in a meeting and misunderstood a potential big client, but was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself again.

It led to a communication breakdown, and he lost the deal.

He started to genuinely worry he might lose his job.

So he caved and scheduled a hearing evaluation with our audiologist friend, who we'll call Maria.

Maria went through a medical case history, and while Ed mentioned his problems at work and home, she didn't dig too deep.

She didn't want him to feel like she was prying or being emotionally manipulative.

So Ed didn't share his fears about the future, or his self-consciousness around the idea of wearing hearing aids.

After the hearing test, she asked him if he wanted to try hearing aids.

He said he wasn't sure. She didn't pry.

She showed him a hearing aid that she recommended.

It was going to sit on the outside of his ear.

"Everyone's going to see it", Ed thought privately.

Then she showed him the price.

"Holy ****, that's expensive" was the first thing through Ed's mind.

"I need to think about it", he told Maria.

"Of course, take your time!" she said, and sent him home with brochures.

The next week, Ed had another hearing mishap, and ended up losing his job.

His relationship with his wife became strained.

He finally bought a cheap hearing aid on the internet, but it didn't work.

It took him 3 more years to finally go back to an audiologist for proper treatment.

All because Maria didn't want the discomfort of digging into Ed's pain.

She didn't understand his self-consciousness, so she couldn't reassure him.

She didn't want to confidently tell Ed that he needed to pursue treatment, for fear of seeming pushy.

She didn't want to broach the subject of money when she saw him flinch at the price, or ask questions about Ed's hesitancy to treat the hearing loss right away.

The takeaway? Stop thinking about what we do as selling.

People are seeking your help.

When you're unwilling to lean into the discomfort with your patient, you're not being gentle, professional, or kind.

You're doing them a disservice.

Building the systems and skills to guide patients to treatment is the most powerful and compassionate thing you can do.